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So, who knew this LiveJournal thing could actually be helpful? Iapos;m not generally a fan of writing, but I�have a lot on my mind,�and Iapos;m not sure if anyone would understand. This seems like the safest bet, because anything�I write down on paper could totally be found and used against me. (Yes, Iapos;m paranoid).

Okay, so Sabs and I throw this awesome party the other night, right? And itapos;s same old, same old deal, Suz gets drunk, flirts around, etc.

But then, I started making out with Alan Gray�of all people (or he started first. Iapos;m not too clear on that detail).

So, we went outside and we had this chat (and made out some more). He told me that he really cares about me. Like, honestly cares.

And Iapos;m totally not deluded enough to think that some random guy that I never spoke to before in my life until we were both wasted is in love with me.

But ... He just seemed so sweet�and nice.�Iapos;ll ... Kind of be upset if he really doesnapos;t care. I donapos;t even know how much of that night he remembers. I havenapos;t been talking to him since, so ... Itapos;s possible that the whole thing is forgotten to him.

At any rate, it shows me for sure that all the guys I have had for a night in the past are complete assholes, because nice guys donapos;t just do that.

But then again, Alan and I made out too, so .. Where does that leave him? But ... Thereapos;s something about him thatapos;s�different.

I just�donapos;t know why.
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